Classes?

Anyone else think my class scedule this year looks remarkably like a demon? Luckily the demon won't survive long.... labs and sections still have to be scheduled..... ugh.

I think I should like to have my medial orbitofrontal cortex removed.

Tired of regret? Become a leison patient, and you won't have to deal with it anymore. I think I would be ok with that, but then again, I don't regret that much anyway. I'm trying to determine if i regret anything at all, and i think not. While I wish some things may've ended differently, it was worth the experience anyway, so I won't say I regret it. I just learned how not to do something in the future. I still stick my foot in my mouth on a regular basis though.

The doorbell rings

I returned from work around 6.30 this evening and put in a load of laundry, then quickly began relaxing. "Time is of the essence" (excuse the cliche usage), but doubly so anymore. About 2 hours later, someone began knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell. When I answered I found two pre-teen to early teenage girls standing.

"I know this is going to sound really weird," says one girl, "but do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Sure," I agreed, though somewhat hesitantly.

"Do you have anyone 18-21 living here?" she asked.

"Uhhh... I am," I replied, thinking they were wanting me to buy cigarettes or something.

"Ok, well, here's the thing," she said, finally beginning to reveal her true intentions. "I have a friend who lives a few apartments down and she doesn't know we're doing this, but she hasn't been on a date in a really long time and I was wondering if you would like to go out with her?"

She took a breath after trying to fit that all into one quick sentence.

"I don't think I could do that," I muttered, coming up with whatever I could to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. "Sorry," I said, as I slowly closed the door.

Pass it on story time

A couple weekends ago I was sitting at a pub with some friends listening to a local band [The Bogtrodders] and a few of us decided we needed to go the extra mile and multitask while taking in the sounds. So we played that time old game where everyone writes a bit of the story and then passes it along to the next person who continues, etc. Four of us alternated turns writing, and below is the fruit of our labor... (thanks to aaron for transcribing!) The skipped line means the turn changed and the next person began writing. I'd color code the entries by author, but that woudl take too much time, and if you read closely you can analyze the style;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The

Jesus <3s Winners

and everyone else hates you

and then I was no longer infected. The End.

But I was still saddened by the abnormally lame wart on your face

Then a giant happy face hopped up along side me and told me about his 90 year old mother who was still practicing S&M with her 23 year old boyfriend and the wart didn't seem so bad.

But it was to late for the wort because the magical elves from osu came and lopped it off. And then...

used the wart to summon an enormous tomato from the neitherworld

which was not unlike that of which a tomato of the Edwardian count of the late 1600s would have all but sold the crown to in a fit of hostile rage.

But I was still sad for the wort and munchkins forced to work in the wizard's chinese style sweat shops.

And, oh how they worked. Their little hands toiled all day long ... 50 of them and at the end of the day all they had to show for it was a single UP elevator button. (Illustration of an UP elevator button) they couldn't make a down one. Those were make in the Phillipines.

But with this button they rallied a union of elves and munchkins to overthrow their dominatrix-styled middle managers by using ...

yo yos. It was a long bloody struggle and there was string and blood and really really funny shoes everywhere!

So many shoes that flaming franks shoe-dar went off and all of the sudden there were so many homos fighting over clothes you would have thought it was wedding dress day @ Filene's Basement

which is a nice, neat store at it's home location in Boston, but in other regions is not akin in the most obvious way to being a regional clothing Big Lots.

This part of the story was lost due to bad handwriting amd it's loss is deeply morned by all the Angels and muses. Oh, woe to the lost part of the story.

When the dust had settled and the ground was strewn with the dead and dying munchkins, elves, homos, and dominatrixes a lone figure emerged from the rubble, he would hence forthe rule the land with justice and virtue. His name was Hermy and he...

lived happily ever after and made lots of babies. The End. Hugs + Kisses.

(we ran out of napkin and had to end the story here, to the chagrin of many)

Create your own stripper!

Watch me change

So amazing

The Beaver Hunt

So here's the deal: Last week I was working in a place called Xenia, Ohio. Xenia is in the middle of nowhere and there's not a whole lot to do there. Nearby, however, is a ritzy suburb wannabe called Beaver Creek. Beaver Creek is celebrating its 25th anniversary and in celebration has commissioned 25 beaver statues to be decorated and placed throughout the town.

Now, picture this: It's after 1 am, I'm a little tipsy, and we have been in this town for a week with nothing to do. It's time for a beaver hunt!!! Me and my friend erik drove around in the dark (he wasn't drinking, cause drinking and driving isn't cool) and found as many of the beaver statues as we could--meaning we found all of them that hadn't been stolen or thrown into ponds. Here is the result of all the toil. Enjoy!


Beaver #1 was alongside the highway. I didn't know what this beaver was so curious about


Our next beaver was found near the YMCA. That sign next to it saying not to touch the beavers told me that "Beavercrete" was just asking for a ride.


This beaver was so irressitably hot. A beaver in overalls..... ohhhhhh snap. Who's your daddy?


Ehhh this beaver was outside the library and like to read. How interesting could I really make the picture?


This beaver needed some serious trimming of its shrub.... fo' real.


Mmmm a beaver in uniform...


This one was actually a pretty cool beaver. Loving the starry night swirlage, plus I am running out of bad beaver jokes quickly.


This beaver can mend my road any time. Sexy!


Watch as this beaver marches across the field, holding his trombone, his intrument high. Play that funky music, beaver.


Fly high with beavers


The original beaver- anything else is just a copy.


Me and the rabbit munching the beaver


I wasn't done with the original beaver juuuust yet.


Supa fly beaver and me


*insert indian noises here*

Some of the beavers were inside and had to wait until the next day. Isnt' my work polo amazing?


I have no idea what this one is supposed to be. A scientific beaver? I'm spent.


My my, what a well maintained beaver.

So that's it, there you have it. Misadventures in beaverland. Until next time/

Ancient phallus unearthed in cave

You have got to see this.



Ancient phallus unearthed in cave

So beaver hunting has been at least temporarily postponed... but more later.

Give me a sign (said to the tune of ...Baby one more time)

Interesting signs from the road. Jesus and stuff.


For all of us wondering what the answer is.


And I thought semi-trucks were only good for a toot of the horn. Get out your message!


Part one of Two. Where will you spend eternity?


Part two of two. Hell IS Real fo' real.

Now for the non-jesus stuff...


Beaverdam... yeah... just where I wanna be.

And finally, the best town in all of Ohio: Cridersville.


That's all for now. Tomorrow we may have go beaver hunting. There will surely be photos from that. (Don't worry, no beavers will be harmed in the taking of our photos.)

Peace out.

Were you born in a barn?

As part of the Ohio Bicentennial celebration of 2003 the state commisioned 1 barn in each of the 88 Ohio counties to be painted with the bicentennial logo. These are pics of the ones that I have seen lately, and was quick enough to get the camera out for. I'd tell you which county each was in, but i have no clue. If you're all that curious i suppose i could come up with some estimate.

Photos from the road

So for an indefinite amount of time this blog will contain photos i find of note from my journeys through the great state of ohio with work this summer. In the beginnig here there will be quite a few then we'll get a nice trickle most likely.

YEAH! (says lil' jon)

Bacardi 151 Congratulations! You're 134 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (66), and liquor (104).

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 64% on proof You scored higher than 86% on beer index You scored higher than 76% on wine index You scored higher than 91% on liquor index

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid

I can see that. Eerie

Your Expression Number is 1

You have the skills to be a top executive or businessperson. But first you must develop your natural capacity to be a good leader. You are truly original - with a creative approach to life and a very sharp mind. You reach for the sky, and you have the potential to reach it. Assertive and straight forward, you have little need for supervision. You are self-confident, self-reliant, and courageous in your convictions. While you sometimes fear loneliness, you prefer to be left alone. A bit self centered, you may be hard to life with at times. You also have a strong dominant streak - which can push others away at times.

What's Your Expression Number?

The view from my window...Downtown Providence in it's snowy glory

Quick hand at Egyptian Rat Screw predicts long life

Longer Life, Reaction Time and IQ

According to the ancient Greeks, Zeus had 3 daughters who were known as the three Fates. One spun the thread of life, the second measured its length, and the third snipped it off. In our attempt to understand some of the rules of science, researchers have tried to offer a more plausible explanation for why some of us live longer than others. Researchers from the Universities of Edinburgh and Glasgow in Scotland have made a discovery even the Greeks couldn't have imagined - reaction time may be a core indicator of long life. They measured both the IQs and the reaction times of middle-aged subjects and conclude that both tests of mental ability were associated with life span, but reaction time was the stronger indicator.

These findings appear in Psychological Science, a journal of the American Psychological Society. This study builds upon earlier studies that show that individuals with lower IQs tend to die at younger ages than those with higher IQs. Investigators built upon this idea by adding what they define as a more fundamental measure of mental ability - efficiency in processing information. They believe that IQ tests might relate to physical health because people with higher IQs typically are more likely to be in occupations with safer environments. Reaction time is moderately related to IQ, but is a simpler assessment of the brain's information-processing ability - one that doesn't bear so much on other, possibly confounding factors like knowledge, education, or background.

They evaluted 412 male and 486 female 54- to 58-year-olds who took both an IQ test measuring their verbal and numeric cognitive abilities and a reaction-time test that measured how quickly they pressed a button after seeing a number on a screen. The researchers also recorded the participants' gender, employment, education, and smoking status. Over a 14 year period 185 participants died, and researchers compared their test results to see if the IQ or reaction-time responses predicted their mortality.

Results showed that those with higher IQ scores lived longer, a result consistent with other studies. The study also showed that characteristics significantly related to death included male gender and smoking. But they also found something new - faster reaction times seemed an even better predictor of long life than IQ.

There are different ways the results could be interpreted. Slow reaction times could reflect a degeneration of the brain, which in turn could reflect degenerating physical health (an obvious possible cause of earlier mortality). But in another study the IQs of 11-year-old subjects also were found to predict life span length, just as accurately as it did for the middle-aged participants in this 14-year study. Future studies of reaction times in younger-aged people may shed more light on the IQ-mortality connection.