Upon my return, this is what was awaiting me. I love the snow:-D

The Lesser of Two Evils

So now it comes down to this- sub- zero temperatures and the craziness of my house, or two feet of snow and classes and other engagments out the wazoo. At least I'm not alone in believing this is the WORST MONDAY EVER. It can only get better from here, then, right? Let us hope so.

Cuttlefish Reveal Secret to Getting Girl of Dreams

Dishonesty the Best Policy, Cuttlefish Study Concludes

	Image: R.T. HANLON

All is fair in love and war, but some animals take it to the extreme by temporarily turning themselves into something they're not. Findings published today in the journal Nature provide two new examples of how these mimics can get ahead. The mating scene for giant Australian cuttlefish (Sepia apama) is rife with fighting and deception. Small males often scoop their much larger counterparts by pretending to be female themselves, which allows the runts to get closer to females of reproductive age. "In the blink of an eye they can pull out of it and go back to being a male," observes lead author Roger Hanlon of the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, Mass. But although researchers had observed this behavior in the wild, it was unclear how successful the male mimics were at actually fertilizing females. Hanlon and his colleagues studied the creatures in their natural habitat and used DNA fingerprinting to analyze eggs and calculate the mimics' success rates. According to the report, the female impersonators fertilized female fish in 60 percent of their attempts, a success rate about twice that of honest male cuttlefish

http://www.newsisfree.com/iclick/i,68901859,1439,f/

You know you've lived in Finland too long when...

You know you’ve been in Finland too long, when...

1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
2. It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
3. Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
4. You think it's normal that 22 year olds need fake ID
5. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
   a. he is drunk
   b. he is insane
   c. he is American
   d. he is all of the above
6. You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
7. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
8. You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.
9. Silence is fun.
10. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:
    a. duty free vodka
    b. duty free beer
    c. to party...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm;
    just turn around and do it again on the way back.
    d. all of the above
11. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.
12. You pass a grocery store and think "Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"
13. Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", and tell someone "you needn't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.
14. You associate pea soup with Thursday.
15. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
16. Your notion of streetlife is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of Helsinki railway station on Friday nights.
17. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
18. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
19. "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.
20. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"
21. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.
22. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
23. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
24. You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.
25. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.
26. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
    a. they are drunk
    b. they are Swedish-speaking
    c. they are American.
27. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
28. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
29. You eat herring in 105 ways.
30. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognise them as semi-formal wear.
31. You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example MERI.........LIITTO OY.
32. You have undergone a transformation:
    a. you accept mustamakkara (Black-blood sausage) as food
    b. you accept alcohol as food
    c. you accept.
33. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.
34. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism on the toilet.
35. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
36. You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald's.
37. You just love Jaffa.
38. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
39. You know that "I got a new boyfriend." means "I got laid last night."
40. The next day when they say "We broke up." you know it means " He didn't call."
41. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
42. You enjoy salmiakki.
43. You know that "mens public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.
44. You know that more than three channels means cable.
45. You get all the Swedish jokes.
46. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
47. You've become lactose intolerant.
48. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
49. You don't think twice about wearing sandals indoors and Wellington's outside.
50. You stand in a bus if you can't find a vacant pair of seats.
51. Finland winning a medal at the world hockey championships is less important than beating Tre Kronor.
52. You pass the point of spending more than 50% of your salary on phone calls and alcohol.
53. The only couple talking in a tram or a bus always seems to annoy you.
54. You refuse to cross a totally empty street until there is a green light.
55. You are immediately suspicious when somebody starts talking to you in the street.
56. You no longer have a problem accepting money from someone bumming a cigarette.
57. You seriously consider visiting the sauna more than three times a week.
58. You're training for Vasaloppet.
59. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND!!!!

You know you're from Ohio when....

You Know You're From Ohio When...

You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami. You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital. You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange! You've heard of 3.2% beer. Schools close for the state basketball tournament. You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south." You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot. You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer. You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes. You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers. Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island. Down south to you means Kentucky. You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ohio.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here



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A Warning to Mother Nature

Dear Ma'am;

I know on multiple occasions I would have been delighted that you graced the landscape around me with mounds upon mounds of your clean, fluffy whiteness. This time, however, there's a bit of a problem. Accordingly, let me break it down for you.

I WILL be in Providence Monday evening as planned. Once there, I will revel in the blanketed world. Unitl I am there, however, I strongly advise that you cease and desist any action that may further impede my on time arrival. It's in your best interest to do so, and I ask that for your own benefit you heed my advisory. I have CCed Jack Frost, your employee, so that he too is aware of this matter.

That is all.

/J

PS- oh, and by the way, I just LOVE what you've done with your sky. A better reflection of father sea has never been seen!

Juopo

Right this moment....


What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Yee-Haw

How I Spent my Winter Break..... I think the robe and the straw hat are so HOT right now.

My Type of Intelligence...

I don't know why I put these in here, but they're worth a good laugh sometimes anyway.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Clippings- 14 Jan

The EU Needs a great compromise. Where is Ben Franklin when you need him? Although it makes you think- is the two-house system employed in our congress effective enough to warrant our reccomending it to a body such as the EU?

http://news.independent.co.uk/europe/story.jsp?story=600670

Brussels delivers blow to EU referendum hopes

By Stephen Castle in Brussels

14 January 2005

Tony Blair's battle to win a referendum on the European constitution suffered a setback yesterday when the European Commission said the document might have to be revised within the next decade.

The comments from Jose Manuel Barroso, the EC President, undermine one of Downing Street's central arguments: that the constitution will finalise the relationship between the UK and the EU.

At issue is the question of the voting system in the constitution which is based on the populations of member states. Projections show Turkey will be the EU's most populous county within decades, so giving it greater decision-making weight than Germany, the UK or France.

In the French daily, Le Figaro, Mr Barroso sought to reassure French opinion by trying to separate the constitution from the question of Turkish membership. He said: "If there is a need to change the rules later we will do it. But that is not the issue today." His spokeswoman, Francoise Le Bail, added: "When the time comes to change the constitution we will discuss it but the time has not come."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Eau de Paris." Is there a market for Parisiene tap water in Paris? The government is trying to convince you that there is.

http://news.independent.co.uk/europe/story.jsp?story=600264

Even teachers can't put stickers in our textbooks. The judge said that would be unconstitutional. Guess it just goes to show what happens when you get all uppity.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/01/13/evolution.textbooks.ruling/index.html

How old am I?

It's sad when I need to take a quiz to know how old I am.

You Are 20 Years Old

20 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Clippings- 12 Jan

Shakespear STDs? Some people are saying Shakespear had syphilis.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/01/050111091800.htm

Oh how I love John Stewart. He commented on this book banning on his show earlier in the week.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/EDUCATION/01/10/banned.book.ap/index.html

Even the pope forgot about Poland. That's too bad.
http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=worldNews&storyID=7306196&src=rss/worldNews

"Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?" Guy Womack, Graner's attorney, said in opening arguments to the 10-member U.S. military jury at the reservist's court-martial." Need I say more?
http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=worldNews&storyID=7287157&src=rss/worldNews

I love Kaj Stenvall.... http://www.kajstenvall.com/

And you thought you were having a bad day... (thanks kev)

Notice the reference to footnote (2)- taken from the website I quote "(2) do not eat iPod Shuffle"

Bingo!

Yes, I'm talking the game of the heartland. The game your grandparents play. B.I.N.G.O.

Tonight I went to Bingo, and I WON!! What's the quickest way to piss off a room of old people? Beat them at bingo. It was an interesting time, in any event. I went with my mom and my grandma, so I split the winnings three ways. $99 3-ways is still $33 though, so it's better than I had when I walked in the place. Incidentally, I also won the door prize- free bingo next Sunday.

The demographics of the people that attend such events are very skewed, but, to avoid appearing and becoming offesively judgemental, I won't discuss them here. It's interesting to speculate as to why there is an archaetype that one would find composes the population of most bingo halls. I'll let you think about that one on your own though.

Clippings - 8 Jan

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Walking down memory lane

Today, for lack of anything better to do, and for a strong sense of determination to finally be able to say I've done it, I put my pictures from my year abroad into some sort of coherent order. I'd been planning this sense before the photos were taken, and it's sad that it has taken me so long to finally sit myself down to do it.

During all my travelling, I would buy postcards from each place that I had visited so that I could use them as a sort of divider in organizing my pictures. It actually worked out rather well for me. It adds a nice touch to it all. For now I just chronologically assorted everything by date and put it in a plastic tote. I have albums for the photos, some very nice ones that friends both here and in Finland bought for me, but I want to have the pictures with me at school so compactness is inportant. I'll sort it all into albums sometime in the future.

I think the reason that I had procrastinated and avoided doing this for so long was because I knew how painful this all would be. I expected it, but it still didn't prepare me for the reality that was the emotional rollercoaster I experienced while sorting. On multiple occassions my parents casted strange glances at me as I laughed out loud. Many pictures brought back memories of situations I wish I could repeat, having the maturity and knowledge that I have now. I could have appreciated so many things so much more! Other times I was so moved and saddened by how great these people had been to me and how much I missed them. The people that touched my life that year have made some of the longest lasting impressions of any that I've come into contact with, and it's hard to reconcile the facts with my current reality. Just when it seems to me as though the pain of the separation is subsiding something happens that rekindles the flame inside of me that convinces me that I must, some day, return to that land. I don not wish to return as a tourist or a visitor, but as an adult ready to make my way in the foreign world that became home.

Of course I realize that I was there as an ambassador of good will, and my experiences were in no way those of the average perso nliving in the country, or on the conitnent for that matter, but I believe still that there is no better place for me to carve out a niche and try to find my own corner of happiness, as cliche as all of that sounds.

Determination returned, I'm ready to do whatever it takes to make my dreams and my reality coincide.

You know what annoys me?

I've always been a fan of the natural wit of others. Dandies such as Oscar Wilde and cynics like Twain left behind multitudes of quick quips and smart sayings that amuse me to read and regurgitate. It's a vice of mine, I know.

It starts to bother me, however, when someone is wholly and obtrusively unnatural with it. Take for example Robert Byrne. Freshman year of high school I picked up a book called the 5000 and some odd number best things ever said, by Robert Byrne. I think you'll be hard pressed to comprehend the excitement this brought me. I experienced the biggest let down, however, when I leafed across page after page of mediocre phrases and observations. The part that REALLY got to me, however, was the fact the Byrne often quoted himself- either directly or by hsi initials (I guess hoping no one would catch on). Maybe it's just me, but I hardly believe that someone composing a book of collected quotes is objective when it comes to including his/her own. Sure, I may have thought it hillarious(!!) when I said something, but I'm not going to lable it as one of the best things ever said, nor publish my own book just so that I can gain publicity for it.

And the last time that I checked, being a "self-quoter" was not an ocupation, moreso when you are far from quotable.

His "best" quotes are compiled here- not by himself, surprisingly.
http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Robert_Byrne

Ironic, I suppose, that my favorite quote speaks of not quoting others, but thinking for oneself. Dostevsky, Crime and Punishment, Chapter 15:

"What do you think?" shouted Razumihin, louder than ever, "you think I am attacking them for talking nonsense? Not a bit! I like them to talk nonsense. That's man's one privilege over all creation. Through error you come to the truth! I am a man because I err! You never reach any truth without making fourteen mistakes and very likely a hundred and fourteen. And a fine thing, too, in its way; but we can't even make mistakes on our own account! Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's. In the first case you are a man, in the second you're no better than a bird. Truth won't escape you, but life can be cramped. There have been examples. And what are we doing now? In science, development, thought, invention, ideals, aims, liberalism, judgment, experience and everything, everything, everything, we are still in the preparatory class at school. We prefer to live on other people's ideas, it's what we are used to! Am I right, am I right?"

Rebellion!!!!

So I am going to begin an uprising against that which is Xanga. It's a test to see whch is more user friendly, and aesthetically pleasing. This post will serve as an initial basis for judgement. I don't know about this, but we'll see....